Samuel Pearce Memoirs, #3

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Memoirs of the Rev. Samuel Pearce
By Andrew Fuller

CHAPTER III

His Exercises and Labours, from the Time of His Giving up the Idea of Going Abroad to the Commencement of His Last Affliction

HAD the multiplied labours of this excellent man permitted his keeping a regular diary, we may see, by the foregoing specimen of a single month, what a rich store of truly Christian experience would have pervaded these Memoirs. We should then have been better able to trace the gradual openings of his holy mind, and the springs of that extraordinary unction of spirit, and energy of action, by which his life was distinguished. As it is, we can only collect the gleanings of the harvest, partly from memory, and partly from letters communicated by his friends.

This chapter will include a period of about four years, during which he went twice to London, to collect for the Baptist Mission, and once he visited Dublin, at the invitation of the Evangelical Society in that city.

There appears throughout the general tenor of his life a singular submissiveness to the will of God; and, what is worthy of notice, this disposition was generally most conspicuous when his own will was most counteracted. The justness of this remark is sufficiently apparent from his letter to Mrs. Pearce, of November 13, 1794, after the decision of the committee; and the

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same spirit was carried into the common concerns of life. Thus, about a month afterwards, when his dear Louisa was ill of a fever, he thus writes from Northampton to Mrs. Pearce: --

Northampton, Dec. 13, 1794.

"MY DEAR SARAH,

"I am just brought on the wings of celestial mercy safe to my sabbath's station. I am well; and my dear friends here seem healthy and happy: but I feel for you. I long to know how our dear Louisa's pulse beats: I fear still feverish. We must not, however, suffer ourselves to be infected with a mental fever on this account. Is she ill? It is right. Is she very ill . . . . dying? It is still right. Is she gone to join the heavenly choristers? It is all right, notwithstanding our repinings . . . . Repinings! No; we will not repine. It is best she should go. It is best for her: this we must allow. It is best for us: Do we expect it? Oh what poor, ungrateful, short-sighted worms are we! Let us submit, my Sarah, till we come to heaven: if we do not then see that it is best, let us then complain. But why do I attempt to console? Perhaps an indulgent providence has ere now dissipated your fears: or if that same kind providence has removed our babe, you have consolation enough in Him who suffered more than we; and more than enough to quiet all our passions in that astonishing consideration, -- "God so loved the world, that he spared not his own Son." Did GOD cheerfully give the holy child Jesus for us; and shall we refuse our child to him? He gave his Son to suffer: he takes our children to enjoy. Yes; to enjoy Himself. Yours with the tenderest regard, -- S. P."

In June, 1795, he attended the association at Kettering, partly on account of some missionary business there to be transacted. That was a season of great joy to many, especially the last forenoon previous to parting. Thence he wrote to Mrs. Pearce as follows:

"From a pew in the house of God at Kettering, with my cup of joy running over, I address you by the hands of brother Simmons. Had it pleased Divine Providence to have permitted your accompanying me, my pleasures would have received no small addition, because I should have hoped that you would have been filled with similar consolation, and have received equal edification by the precious means of grace on which I have attended. Indeed, I never remember to have enjoyed a public meeting to such a high degree since I have been in the habit of attending upon them. Oh that I may return to you, and the dear church of God, in the fulness of the blessing of the gospel of Christ! I hope, my beloved, that you are not without the enjoyment of the sweetness and the supports of the blessed gospel. Oh that you may get and keep near to God, and in Him find infinitely more than you can possibly lose by your husband's absence!

"Mr. Hall preached, last evening, from 1 Pet. i. 8. A most evangelical and experimental season! I was charmed and warmed. Oh that Jesus may go on to reveal himself to him as altogether lovely! I am unable to write more now. To-day I set off for Northampton, and preach there to-night. The Lord bless you!"

In July, 1795, he received a pressing invitation from the General Evangelical Society in Dublin to pay them a visit, and to assist in diffusing the gospel of the grace of God in that kingdom. To this invitation he replied in the following letter, addressed to Dr. M'Dowal: --

Birmingham, Aug. 3, 1795.

"REV. AND DEAR SIR,

"I received your favour of the 22nd ult., and, for the interesting reason you assign, transmit a 'speedy answer.' The society, on whose behalf you wrote, I have ever considered with the respect due to the real friends of the

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best of causes -- the cause of God and of his Christ -- a cause which embraces the most important and durable interests of our fellow men; and your name, dear sir, I have been taught to hold in more than common esteem by my dear brother and father, Messrs. Birt and Francis. The benevolent institution which you are engaged in supporting, I am persuaded, deserves more than the good wishes or prayers of your brethren in the kingdom and patience of Jesus, on this side the Channel; and it will yield me substantial pleasure to afford personal assistance in your pious labours. But for the present, I am sorry to say, I must decline your proposal, being engaged to spend a month in London this autumn on the business of our mission society, of which you have probably heard.

"When I formed my present connexions with the church in Birmingham, I proposed an annual freedom for six weeks from my pastoral duties; and should the 'Evangelical Society' express a wish for my services the ensuing year, I am perfectly inclined, God willing, to spend that time beneath their direction, and at, what part of the year they conceive a visit would be most serviceable to the good design. I only request that, should this be their desire, I may receive the information as soon as they can conveniently decide, that I may withhold myself from other engagements, which may interfere with the time they may appoint. I entreat you to make my Christian respects acceptable to the gentlemen who compose the Society; and assure yourself that I am, dear sir, respectfully and affectionately, your brother, in our Lord Jesus, -- S. P."

The invitation was repeated, and he complied with their request, engaging to go over in the month of June, 1796.

A little before this journey, it occurred to Dr. Ryland that an itinerating mission into Cornwall might be of use to the cause of true religion, and that two acceptable ministers might be induced to undertake it; and that, if executed during the vacation at the Bristol academy, two of the students might supply their place. He communicated his thoughts to Mr. Pearce, who wrote thus in answer:

May 30, 1796.

"MY VERY DEAR BROTHER,

"I thank you a thousand times for your last letter. Blessed be God, who hath put it into your heart to propose such a plan for increasing the boundaries of Zion! I have read your letter to our wisest friends here, and they heard it with great joy. The plan, the place, the mode, the persons, -- all, all meet our most affectionate wishes. How did such a scheme never enter our minds before? Alas! we have nothing in our hearts that is worth having, save what God puts there. Do write to me when at Dublin, and tell me whether it be resolved on, when they set out, &c. I hope, ere long, to hear that as many disciples are employed in Great Britain, as the Saviour employed in Judea. When he gives the word, great will he the company of the preachers.^*

"O my dear brother, let us go on still praying, contriving, labouring, defending, until the little leaven leaven the whole lump, and the small stone from the mountain fill the whole earth.

"What pleasures do those lose who have no interest in God's gracious and holy cause! How thankful should we he that we are not strangers to the joy which the friends of Zion feel, when the Lord turneth again Zion's captivity! I am, beyond expression, your affectionate brother in Christ, -- S. P."
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^* This plan was carried out by the committee of the foreign mission, and was successful. As it was felt, however, to be a departure from the constitution of the society, they originated, in 1797, a new institution, -- The Baptist Home Missionary Society -- B.

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On May 31 he set off for Dublin, and "the Lord prospered his way" so that he arrived at the time appointed; and from every account it appears that he was not only sent in the fulness of the blessing of the gospel of peace, but that the Lord himself went with him. His preaching was not only highly acceptable to every class of hearers, but the word came from him with power; and there is abundant reason to believe that many will, through eternity, praise God for sending his message to them by this dear ambassador of Christ. His memory lives in their hearts, and they join with the other churches of Christ in deploring the loss they have sustained by his death.

He was earnestly solicited by the Evangelical Society to renew his visit to that kingdom in 1798. Ready to embrace every call of duty, he had signified his compliance; and the time was fixed: but the breaking out of the late rebellion prevented him from realizing his intention. This was a painful disappointment to many, who wished once more to see his face, and to have heard the glad tidings from his lips.

Such is the brief account of his visit to Dublin given by Dr. M'Dowal. The following letter was written to Mrs. Pearce, when he had been there little more than a week: --

Dublin, June 30, 1796.

"MY DEAR SARAH,

"I long to know how you do, and you will be as much concerned to know how I go on at this distance from you. I haste to satisfy your inquiries.

"I am in perfect health; am delightfully disappointed with the place and its inhabitants. I am very thankful that I came over. I have found much more religion here already than I expected to meet with during the whole of my stay. The prospect of usefulness is flattering. I have already many more friends (I hope Christian friends) than I can gratify by visits. Many doors are open for preaching the gospel in the city; and my country excursions will probably be few. Thus much for outline.

"But you will like to know how I spend my time, &c. Well, then, I am at the house of a Mr. Hutton, late high sheriff for the city, a gentleman of opulence, respectability, and evangelical piety. He is by profession a Calvinistic Presbyterian, an elder of Dr. M'Dowal's church; has a most amiable wife, and four children. I am very thankful for being placed here during my stay. I am quite at home -- I mean as to ease and familiarity; for as to style of living, I neither do nor desire to equal it. Yet, in my present situation, it is convenient. It would, however, be sickening and dull, had I not a GOD to go to, to converse with, to enjoy, and to call my own. Oh it is this, it is this, my dearest Sarah, which gives a point to every enjoyment, and sweetens all the cup of life.

"The Lord's day after I wrote to you last, I preached for Dr. M'Dowal in the morning, at half past eleven; heard a Mr. Kilburne at five; and preached again at Plunket Street at seven. On Tuesday evening I preached at an hospital; and on Thursday evening at Plunket Street again. Yesterday for the Baptists, in the morning; Dr. M'Dowal at five; and at Plunket Street at seven.

"The hours of worship will appear singular to you: they depend on the usual meal times. We breakfast at ten; dine between four and five, sometimes between five and six; take tea from seven to nine; and sup from ten to twelve.

"I thank God that I possess an abiding determination to aim at the consciences of the people in every discourse. I have borne the most positive testimony against the prevailing evils of professors here; as sensuality, gaiety, vain amusements, neglect of the sabbath, &c.; and last night told an immense

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crowd of professors of the first rank, 'that if they made custom and fashion their plea, they were awfully deluding their souls; for it had always been the fashion to insult God, to dissipate time, and to pursue the broad road to hell: but it would not lessen their torments there that the way to damnation was the fashion.'

"I feared my faithfulness would have given them offence: but, I am persuaded, it was the way to please the Lord; and those who I expected would be enemies are not only at peace with me, but even renounce their sensual indulgences to attend on my ministry. I do assuredly believe that God hath sent me hither for good. The five o’clock meetings are miserably attended in general. In a house that will hold one thousand five hundred or two thousand people, you will hardly see above fifty! Yesterday morning I preached on the subject of public worship, from Psal. v.7, and seriously warned them against preferring their bellies to God, and their own houses to his. I was delighted and surprised, at the five o'clock meeting, to see the place nearly full. Surely this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in my eyes. Never, never did I more feel how weak I am in myself -- a mere nothing; and how strong I am in the omnipotence of God. I feel a superiority to all fear, and possess a conscious dignity in being the ambassador of Christ. O help me to praise! for it is he alone who teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight: and still pray for me; for if he withdraw for a moment, I become as weak and unprofitable as the briers of the wilderness.

"You cannot think how much I am supported by the assurance that I have left a praying people at Birmingham; and I believe that, in answer to their prayers, I have hitherto been wonderfully assisted in the public work, as well as enjoyed much in private devotion.

"I have formed a most pleasing acquaintance with several serious young men in the university here, and with two of the fellows of the college -- most pious gentlemen indeed, who have undergone a world of reproach for Christ and his gospel, and have been forbidden to preach in the churches by the archbishop; but God has raised another house for them here, where they preach with much success, and have begun a meeting in the college, which promises fresh prosperity to the cause of Jesus."

The following particulars, in addition to the above, are taken partly from some notes in his own handwriting, and partly from the account given by his friend Mr. Summers, who accompanied him during the latter part of his visits.

At his first arrival, the congregations were but thinly attended, and the Baptist congregation in particular, amongst whom he delivered several discourses. It much affected him to see the whole city given to sensuality and worldly conformity; and especially to find those of his own denomination amongst the lowest and least affected with their condition. But the longer he continued, the more the congregations increased, and every opportunity became increasingly interesting, both to him and them. His faithful remonstrances, and earnest recommendations of prayer-meetings to his Baptist friends, though at first apparently ill received, were well taken in the end; and he had the happiness to see in them some hopeful appearances of a return to God. On June the 20th he wrote to his friend Mr. Summers as follows: --

"MY DEAR FRIEND,

"If you mean to abide by my opinion, I say, Come to Dublin, and come directly! I have been most delightfully disappointed. I expected darkness, and behold light; sorrow, and I have had cause for abundant joy. I thank

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God that I came hither, and hope that many, as well as myself, will have cause to praise him. Never have I been more deeply taught my own nothingness -- never hath the power of God more evidently rested upon me. The harvest here is great indeed; and the Lord of the harvest hath enabled me to labour in it with delight.

'I praise him for all that is past;
I trust him for all that‘s to come.'

"The Lord hath of late been doing great things for Dublin. Several of the young men in the college have been awakened; and two of the fellows are sweet evangelical preachers. One of them is of a spirit serene as the summer's evening, and sweet as the breath of May. I am already intimate with them, and have spent several mornings in college with various students who bid fair to be faithful watchmen on Jerusalem's walls. But I hope you will come; and then you will see for yourself. If not, I will give you some pleasant details when we meet in England."

Mr. Summers complied with this invitation; and of the last seven or eight days of Mr. Pearce's continuance at Dublin he himself thus writes:

"Monday, July 4. -- At three in the afternoon I went with my friend, Mr. Summers, to Mr. K.'s. Spent a very agreeable day. Miss A. K. remarked two wonders in Dublin: -- A praying society composed of students at college, and another of lawyers. -- The family were called together. We sung: I read, and expounded the twelfth chapter of Isaiah; and prayed. -- At seven we went to a prayer-meeting at Plunket Street -- there was a very large attendance. Mr. R. and Mr. S. prayed; and I spoke from Rom. x. 12, 13, "There is no difference between the Jew and the Greek; for the same Lord over all is rich unto all who call upon him. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." -- Many seemed affected. -- After I had closed the opportunity, I told them some of my own experience, and requested that, if any present wished for conversation, they would come to me, either that evening or on Thursday evening, in the vestry. Five persons came in: one had been long impressed with religion, but could never summon courage enough to open her heart before. Another, a Miss W., attributed her first impressions, under God, to my ministry; and told me that her father had regularly attended of late, and that her mother was so much alarmed as to be almost in despair. Poor girl! she seemed truly in earnest about her own soul, and as much concerned for her parents. -- The next had possessed a serious concern for some time, and of late had been much revived. -- One young lady, a Miss H., staid in the meeting-house, exceedingly affected indeed. Mr. K. spoke to her. -- She said she would speak to me on Thursday.

"Tuesday, 5th. -- Went to Leislip. At seven preached to a large and affected auditory.

"Wednesday, 6th. -- Mr. H. and myself went to Mrs. M’G., to inquire about the young lady who was so much affected at the meeting. Mrs. M'G. said her mother and sister were pious; that she had been very giddy; but that last Lord’s day she was seriously awakened to a sense of sin; had expressed her delight in religion, and fled for refuge to the blood of Jesus. -- Her sister was introduced to me; a sweetly pious lady. -- I agreed to wait for an interview with the young lady at Mr. H.'s, in Eccles Street, to-morrow.

"Thursday, 7th. -- Miss H., her sister, and Mrs. M’G, came to Eccles Street. -- A most delightful interview. Seldom have I seen such proficiency in so short a time. -- That day week, at Plunket Street, she received her first serious impressions. Her concern deepened at Mass Lane, on Lord's day

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morning -- more so in the evening at Plunket Street -- but most of all on Monday night. I exhorted them to begin a prayer and experience meeting; and they agreed. Blessed be God! this strengthens my hands greatly. -- At seven o'clock preached at Plunket Street, from Jer. 1. 4, 5, "Going and weeping -- they shall ask the way to Zion with their faces thitherward." A full house; and an impressive season. Tarried after the public services were ended, to converse on religion. The most pleasing case was that of a young man of Mr. D.'s.

"Saturday, 9th. -- Went with my friend, Mr. S., to call on Miss H. -- Found her at her mother's. We first passed the door. -- She ran out after us. -- Seemed happy; but agitated. Ran, and called her mother. -- Soon we saw the door of the parlour open, and a majestic lady appeared; who, as she entered the room, thus accosted me: -- 'Who art thou, O blessed of the Lord? Welcome to the widow's house! Accept the widow's thanks for coming after the child whom thou hast begotten in the gospel!' -- I was too much overcome to do more than take by the hand the aged saint. A solemn silence ensued for a minute or two; when the old lady, recovering, expressed the fulness of her satisfaction respecting the reality of the change effected in her daughter, and her gratitude for great refreshment of her own soul, by means of my poor labours. She said she had known the Lord during forty years, being called under the ministry of John Fisher, in the open air, when on a visit to an officer, who was her brother-in-law. She told us much of her experience, and promised to encourage the prayer-meeting which I proposed to be held in her house every Lord's day evening. They are to begin tomorrow, after preaching.-- It was a pleasant meeting; and we returned with pleasure to Eccles Street. After we rose up to come away, the old lady affectionately said, 'May the good-will of Him who dwelt in the bush attend you wherever you go, for ever and ever.'"

The young lady, some months after, wrote to Mr. S., and says, amongst other things, "I have great reason to be thankful for the many blessings the Lord has been pleased to bestow upon me, and in particular for his sending Mr. Pearce to this city; and that through his means I have been convinced of sin. I am happy to inform you that, through grace, I am enabled to walk in the narrow path. The Lord has taken away all desire for worldly company; all my desires, now, are to attend on the means of grace. Blessed be his name! I often find him present in them. My mother and I often remember the happy time we spent in your company at our house. She often speaks of it with great pleasure, and blesses the Lord for the change which grace has wrought in me."

"Lord's day, 10th (the last sabbath) – Preached in the morning at Mary's Abbey, from Job xxxiii. 27, 28, 'He looketh upon men, and if any say, I have sinned, and perverted that which was right, and it profited me not, he will deliver his soul from going into the pit, and his life shall see the light.' -- A happy season. -- In the afternoon, having dined with Mr. W., he took me to Swift's Alley, the Baptist place of worship, where I gave an exhortation on brotherly love, and administered the Lord’s supper. At Mr. W.'s motion, the church requested me to look out a suitable minister for them. In the evening I preached at Plunket Street, from 2 Tim. i. 18, 'The Lord grant unto him that he may find mercy of the Lord in that day!' -- A very solemn season.

"Monday, 11th. -- Met the dear Christian friends, for the last time, at a prayer-meeting in Plunket Street. -- The Lord was there! -- Several friends spent the evening with us afterwards at Mr. H.'s.

"Tuesday, 12th. -- Went on board at four; arrived at Liverpool on Thursday, and safely at home on Friday, July 15th, 1796. Blessed be the Preserver

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of men, the Saviour of sinners, and the help of his servants, for evermore. Amen, amen."

Some time after, writing to his friend who accompanied him, he says, "I have received several letters from Dublin two from Master B., one from Miss H., one from M., three or four from our Baptist friends, and some from others whom I cannot recollect. -- Mr. K. lately called on me, in his way from Bath to Holyhead. We talked of you, and of our Lord, and did not part till we had presented ourselves before the throne."

During his labours in Dublin, he was strongly solicited to settle in a very flattering situation in the neighbourhood;^* and a very liberal salary was offered him. On his positively declining it, mention was made of only six months of the year. When that was declined, three months were proposed; and when he was about to answer this in the negative, the party refused to receive his answer, desiring him to take time to consider of it. He did so; and though he entertained a very grateful sense of the kindness and generosity expressed by the proposal, yet, after the maturest deliberation, he thought it his duty to decline it. Mr. Pearce's modesty prevented his talking on such a subject; but it was known at the time by his friend who accompanied him, and, since his death, has been frequently mentioned as an instance of his disinterested spirit.

His friends at Birmingham were ready to think it hard that he should be so willing to leave them to go on a mission among the heathen; but they could not well complain, and much less think ill of him, when they saw that such a willingness was more than could be effected by the most flattering prospects of a worldly nature, accompanied, too, with promising appearances of religious usefulness.

About a month after his return from Dublin, Mr. Pearce addressed a letter to Mr. Carey, in which he gives some further account of Ireland, as well as of some other interesting matters: --

"Birmingham, Aug. 12, 1796.

"O my dear brother, did you but know with what feelings I resume my pen, freely to correspond with you after receiving your very affectionate letter to myself, and perusing that which you sent by the same conveyance to the Society, I am sure you would persuade yourself that I have no common friendship for you, and that your regards are at least returned with equal ardour.

I fear (I had almost said) that I shall never see your face in the flesh; but if any thing can add to the joy which the presence of Christ, and conformity, perfect conformity to him, will afford in heaven, surely the certain prospect of meeting with my dear brother Carey there is one of the greatest. Thrice happy should I be if the providence of God would open a way for my partaking of your labours, your sufferings, and your pleasures, on this side the eternal world; but all my brethren here are of opinion that I shall be more useful at home than abroad; and I, though reluctantly, submit. Yet I am truly with you in spirit. My heart is at Mudnabatty, and at times I even hope to find my body there: but with the Lord I leave it; He knows my wishes, my motives, my regret; He knows all my soul; and, depraved as it is, I feel an inexpressible satisfaction that he does know it. However, it is a humbling thought to me, that be sees I am unfit for such a station, and unworthy of such an honour as to bear his name among the heathen. But I must be thankful still, that though he appoints me not to a post in foreign service, he will allow me to stand sentinel at home. In this situation may I have grace to be faithful unto death!
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^* At the Black Rock, the residence of some of the most genteel families in the vicinity of Dublin.

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"I hardly wonder at your being pained on account of the effects produced in the minds of your European friends, by the news of your engagement in the indigo business, because I imagine you are ignorant of the process of that matter amongst us. When I received the news, I glorified God in sincerity on account of it, and gave most hearty thanks to him for his most gracious appearance on your behalf: but at the same time I feared lest, through that undertaking, the work of the mission might in some way or other be impeded. The same impression was made on the minds of many others; yet no blame was attached, in our view, to you. Our minds were only alarmed for the future -- not disposed to censure for the past. Had you seen a faithful core of the prayers, the praises, and the conversation of the day in which your letters were read, I know you would not have entertained one unkind thought of the Society towards you. Oh, no, my dear brother, far be it from us to lay an atom upon your spirits of a painful nature. Need I say, we do love you, we do respect you, we do confide too much in you, to design the smallest occasion of distress to your heart. But I close this subject. In future we will atone for an expression that might bear a harsh construction. We will strengthen, we will support, we will comfort, we will encourage you in your arduous work; all, all shall be love and kindness; glory to God, and good-will to men. If I have done aught that is wrong, as an individual, pardon me; if we have said aught amiss, as a society, pardon us. Let us forbear one another in love, 'forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven us.'

"By the time this reaches you, I hope you will have received Nos. I. and II. of Periodical Accounts. Should you find any thing in them which you think had better be omitted, pray be free in mentioning it, and in future your instructions shall be fully attended to. We have taken all the pains, and used all the caution, in our power to render them unexceptionable; but you can better judge in some respects than we. If you should not approve of all, (though we are not conscious of any thing that you will disapprove,) you will not be offended, but believe we have done our best, and, with your remarks, hope to do better still.

"With pleasure, approaching to rapture, I read the last accounts you sent us. I never expected immediate success; the prospect is truly greater than my most sanguine hopes. 'The kingdom of heaven is like to a little leaven hid in three measures of meal, till the whole is leavened.' Blessed be God! the leaven is in the meal, and its influence is already discoverable. A great God is doing great things by you. Go on, my dearest brother, go on; God will do greater things than these. Jesus is worthy of a world of praise: and shall Hindostan not praise him? Surely he shall see of the travail of his soul there, and the sower and the reaper shall rejoice together. Already the empire of darkness totters, and soon it shall doubtless fall. Blessed be the labourers in this important work; and blessed be He who giveth them hearts and strength to labour, and promises that they shall not labour in vain!

"Do not fear the want of money. God is for us, and the silver and the gold are his; and so are the hearts of those who possess the most of it. I will travel from the Land's End to the Orkneys but we will get money enough for all the demands of the mission. I have never had a fear on that head; a little exertion will do wonders; and past experience justifies every confidence. Men we only want; and God shall find them for us in due time.

"Is brother Fountain arrived? We hope he will be all acceptable remittance, and, viva voce, compensate for the lack of epistolary communications.

"I rejoice in contemplating a church of our Lord Jesus Christ in Bengal,

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formed upon his own plan. Why do not the Hindoo converts join it? Lord, help their unbelief! But perhaps the drop is now withheld that you may by and by have the shower, and lift up your eyes and say, 'These, whence came they? They fly as clouds, or as doves to their widows.' For three years, we read of few baptized by the first disciples of our Lord; but, on the fourth, three thousand, and five thousand, openly avowed him. The Lord send you such another Pentecost!

"I intend to write my dear brother a long letter. It will prove my desire to gratify him, if it do no more. I wish that I knew in what communications your other correspondents will be most deficient; then I would try to supply their omissions.

"I will begin with myself: but I have nothing good to say. I think I am the most vile, ungrateful servant that ever Jesus Christ employed in his church. At some times, I question whether I ever knew the grace of God in truth; and at others I hesitate on the most important points of Christian faith. I have lately had peculiar struggles of this kind with my own heart, and have often half concluded to speak no more in the name of the Lord. When I am preparing for the pulpit, I fear I am going to avow fables for facts, and doctrines of men for the truths of God. In conversation I am obliged to be silent, lest my tongue should belie my heart. In prayer I know not what to say, and at times think prayer altogether useless. Yet I cannot wholly surrender my hope, or my profession. Three things I find, above all others, tend to my preservation: -- First, A recollection of a time when, at once, I was brought to abandon the practice of sins which the fear of damnation could never bring me to relinquish before. Surely, I say, this must be the finger of God, according to the Scripture doctrine of regeneration: -- Secondly, I feel such a consciousness of guilt, that nothing but the gospel scheme can satisfy my mind respecting the hope of salvation: -- Thirdly, I see that what true devotion does appear in the world seems only to be found among those to whom Christ is precious.

"But I frequently find a backwardness to secret prayer, and much deadness in it; and it puzzles me to see how this can be consistent with a life of grace. However, I resolve, that, let what will become of me, I will do all I can for God while I live, and leave the rest to him; and this I usually experience to be the best way to be at peace.

"I believe, that if I were more fully given up to God, I should be free from these distressing workings of mind; and then I long to be a missionary, where I should have temptations to nothing but to abound in the work of the Lord, and lay myself entirely out for him. In such a situation, I think, pride would have but little food, and faith more occasion for exercise; so that the spiritual life and inward religion would thrive better than they do now.

"At times, indeed, I do feel, I trust, genuine contrition, and sincerely lament my short-comings before God. Oh the sweets that accompany true repentance! Yes, I love to be abased before God. 'There it is I find my blessing.' May the Lord daily and hourly bring me low, and keep me so.

"As to my public work, I find, whilst engaged in it, little cause to complain for want either of matter or words. My labours are acceptable and not altogether unprofitable to the hearers; but what is this to me, if my own soul starve whilst others are fed by me? O my brother, I need your prayers; and I feel a great satisfaction in the hope that you do not forget me. Oh that I may be kept faithful unto death! Indeed, in the midst of my strugglings, a gleam of hope that I shall at last awake in the likeness of God affords me greater joy than words can express. To be with Christ is far better than to continue sinning here; but if the Lord hath any thing to do by me, His will be done.

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"I have never so fully opened my case to any one before. Your freedom on similar topics encourages me to make my complaint to you, and I think if you were near me I should feel great relief in revealing to you all my heart. But I shall fatigue you with my moanings, so I will have done on this subject.

"It is not long since I returned from a kind of mission to Ireland. A society is established in Dublin for the purpose of inviting from England ministers of various denominations to assist in promoting the interest of the kingdom of Christ there. Some of our Baptist brethren had been there before me, as Rippon, Langdon, Francis, and Birt; and I think the plan is calculated for usefulness. I have, at Dr. Rippon's request, sent him some remarks on my visit for the Register, but as it is probable you will receive this before that comes to hand, I will say something of my excursion here.

"Having engaged to spend six Lord's days in that kingdom, I arrived there the day before the first sabbath in June. I first made myself acquainted with the general state of religion in Dublin. I found there were four Presbyterian congregations; two of these belong to the southern presbytery, and are Arians or Socinians; the other two are connected with the northern presbytery, and retain the Westminster confession of faith. One of these latter congregations is very small, and the minister, though orthodox, appears to have but little success. The other is large and flourishing; the place of worship is ninety feet by seventy, and in a morning well filled. Their times of public service are at half-past eleven and five. In the afternoon the stated congregations are small indeed; for five o'clock is the usual dining-hour in Dublin, and few of the hearers would leave their dinners for the gospel. Dr. M'Dowal is the senior pastor of this church -- a very affectionate, spiritual man. The junior is Mr. Horner. The Doctor is a warm friend to the Society at whose request I went over to Ireland.

"There is one congregation of Burgher seceders, and another of Antiburghers. The latter will not hear any man who is not of their own cast; the former are much more liberal. I preached for them once, and they affectionately solicited a repetition of my services.

"Lady Huntingdon's connexion has one society here, the only one in the kingdom, perhaps, except at Sligo, where there is another. It is not large, and I fear rather declining. There is not one Independent church in the whole kingdom. There were ten Baptist societies in Ireland; but they are now reduced to six; and are, I fear, still on the decline.

"The inhabitants of Dublin seem to be chiefly composed of two classes; the one assumes the appearance of opulence, the other exhibits marks of the most abject poverty; and as there are no parishes in Ireland which provide for the poor, many die every year for want of the common necessaries of life.

"Most of the rich are by profession protestants; the poor are nearly all papists, and strongly prejudiced against the Reformed religion. Their ignorance and superstition are scarcely inferior to your miserable Hindoos. On Midsummer day I had an affecting proof of the latter. On the public road, about a mile from Dublin, is a well, which was once included in the precincts of a priory dedicated to St. John of Jerusalem. This well is in high repute for curing a number of bodily complaints, and its virtues are said to be the most efficacious on the saint's own day. So from twelve o'clock at night, for twenty-four hours, it becomes the rendezvous for all the lame, blind, and otherwise diseased people, within a circuit of twenty miles. Here they brought old and young, and applied the 'holy water' both internally and externally; some by pouring, some by immersion, and all by drinking: whilst, for the good of those who could not attend in person, their friends filled bottles with the efficacious water to use at home. Several I saw on

[p. 403]
their knees before the well at their devotions, which were not unfrequently interrupted with a glass of whiskey. With this they were supplied from a number of dealers in that article, who kept standings all round the well.

"Near to the spot was a church-yard, were great numbers kneeled upon the tombs of their deceased relatives, and appeared earnestly engaged in praying for the repose of their souls.

"It was truly a lamentable sight. My heart ached at their delusions, whilst I felt gratitude I hope unfeigned for an acquaintance with the 'water of life, of which if a man drink he shall live for ever!'

"There are few or none of the middle class to connect the rich and the poor, so that favourable access to them is far more difficult than to the lower orders of the people in England; and their priests hold them in such bondage, that if a catholic servant only attend on family-worship in a protestant house, penance must be performed for the offence."

Mention has already been made of his having "formed a pleasing acquaintance with several serious young gentlemen of the university of Dublin." The following letter was addressed to one of them, the Rev. Mr. Matthias, a few months after his return:

"DEAR BROTHER MATTHIAS,

"I have been employed this whole day in writing letters to Dublin; and it is the first day I have been able to redeem for that purpose. I will not consume a page in apology. Let it suffice to say that necessity, not disinclination, has detained from my Irish friends those proofs of my gratitude and esteem which in other circumstances I ought to have presented three months ago. I thought this morning df answering all their demands before I slept; but I have written so many sheets, and all full, that I find my eyes and my fingers both fail; and I believe this must close my intercourse with Dublin this day. When I shall be able to complete my purpose I do not know. To form friendships with good men is pleasant; but to maintain all that communion which friendship expects is in some cases very difficult. Happy should I be could I meet my Irish friends in propria persona, instead of sitting in solitude, and maintaining, by the tedious medium of the pen, this distant intercourse. But "the Lord he shall choose our inheritance for us." Were all the planets of our system embodied and placed in close association, the light would be greater and the object grander; but then usefulness and systematic beauty consist in their dispersion; and what are we, my brother, but so many satellites to Jesus, the great Sun of the Christian system? Some, indeed, like burning Mercuries, keep nearer the luminary, and receive more of its light and heat, whilst others, like the ringed planet, or the Georgium Sidus, preserve a greater distance, and reflect a greater portion of his light; yet if, amidst all this diversity, they belong to the system, two things may be affirmed of all: -- all keep true to one centre, and borrow whatever light they have from one source. True it is, that the further they are from the sun, the longer are they in performing their revolutions: and is not this exemplified in us? The closer we keep to Jesus, the more brilliant are our graces; the more cheerful and active are our lives: but, alas! we are all comets; we all move in eccentric orbits: at one time glowing beneath the ray Divine, at another congealing and freezing into icicles. 'Oh what a miracle to man is man!'

"Little did I think when I begun this letter that I should thus have indulged myself in allegory: but true friendship, I believe, always dictates extempore; and my friends must never expect from me a studied epistle. They can meet with better thoughts than I can furnish them with, in any

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bookseller's shop. It is not the dish, however well it may be cooked, that gives the relish, but the sweet sauce of friendship; and this I think sometimes makes even nonsense palatable.

"But I have some questions to put to you: -- first, how are all my college friends, Messrs. Walker, Maturin, Hamilton, &c.? How is their health? But, chiefly, how are the interests of religion among you? Are there any praying students added to your number? Do all those you thought well of continue to justify their profession? You know what it is that interests me. Pray tell me all, whether it makes me weep or rejoice.

"I hope Mr. H's ministry was blessed in Dublin. Do you know any instances of it? We must sow in hope, and I trust that we shall all gather fruit to eternal life, even where the buddings have never appeared to us in this world. How is it with your own soul? I thank God, I never, I think, rejoiced habitually so much in him as I have done of late. 'God is love.' That makes me happy. I rejoice that God reigns; that he reigns over all; that he reigns over me; over my crosses, my comforts, my family, my friends, my senses, my mental powers, my designs, my words, my preaching, my conduct; that he is God over all, blessed for ever. I am willing to live, yet I long to die, to be freed from all error and all sin. I have nothing else to trouble me; no other cross to carry. The sun shines without all day long; but I am sensible of internal darkness. Well, through grace it shall be all light by and by. Yes, you and I shall be angels of light; all Mercuries then; all near the Sun; always in motion; always glowing with zeal, and flaming with love. Oh for the new heavens and the new earth wherein dwelleth righteousness!

'Oh what love and concord there,
And what sweet harmony
In heaven above, where happy souls
Adore thy majesty!
Oh how the heavenly choirs all sing
To him who sits enthroned above!
What admiring!
And aspiring!
Still desiring:
Oh how I long to taste this feast of love!'

"Will you tell brother M -- that I wait an opportunity of sending a parcel to him? In that I will enclose a letter. My very affectionate respects to him and Mr. H -- and all my college friends as though named. If you be not weary of such an eccentric correspondent, pray do not be long ere you write to your unworthy but affectionate brother in Christ, -- S. P."

Awhile after this, he thus writes to his friend Mr. Summers: --

"December, 1796. I rejoice that you have been supported under and brought through your late trials. I do not wonder at it; for it is no more than God has promised: and though we may well wonder that he promises any thing, yet his performance is no just ground of surprise and when we find ourselves so employed, we had better turn our wonder to our own unbelief, that for one moment suspected God would not be as good as his word.

"I have been lately more than ever delighted with the thought that God hath engaged to do any thing for such worms as we. I never studied the deistical controversy so much, nor ever rejoiced in revelation more. Alas! what should we know if God had not condescended to teach us? Paul very justly remarks, that no one knoweth any thing of God, but the Spirit of God, and he to whom the Spirit revealeth him. Now the Spirit hath revealed God in the Bible; but to an unbeliever the Bible is a sealed book. He can know nothing from a book that he looks upon as an imposture, and yet

[p. 405]
there is no other book in which God is revealed: so that to reject the Bible is to immerse ourselves in darkness, and, whilst professing to be wise, actually to become fools: whereas no sooner do we believe what the Spirit saith, than unto us is God revealed, and in his light do we see light."

To the above may be added a few extracts of letters which he addressed to his friends in 1797 and 1795.

March, 1797.

To DR. RYLAND

"During the last three weeks I have, at times, been very poorly, with colds, &c. Am better now, and have been all along assisted in going through my public duties. Let us continue to pray for each other till death makes it a needless service. How uncertain is life, and what a blessing is death to a saint! I seem lately to feel a kind of affection for death. Methinks if it were visible I could embrace it. 'Welcome herald, that bids the prisoner be free; that announces the dawn -- of everlasting day; that bids the redeemed come to Zion with everlasting joy, to be beyond the reach of an erroneous judgment and a depraved heart.' To believe, to feel, to speak, to act exactly as God will have me; to be wholly absorbed and taken up with him; this, nothing short of this, can make my bliss complete. But all this is mine. Oh the height, the depth, the length, the breadth of redeeming love! It conquers my heart, and constrains me to yield myself a living sacrifice, acceptable to God, through Jesus Christ. -- My dear brother, we have had many happy meetings on earth: the best is in reserve.

'No heart upon earth can conceive
The bliss that in heaven they share;
Then who this dark world would not leave,
And cheerfully die to be there?'

"Oh how full of love, and joy, and praise shall we be when that happy state is ours! Well, yet a little while, and He that shall come will come. Even so, come, Lord Jesus! My dear brother, forgive the hasty effusions of a heart that loves you in the bowels of Jesus, and is always happy in testifying itself to be affectionately yours, -- S. P."

____, 1797.

To MR. CAVE ^*
On the falling away of some who had promised fair in religion.

"I thank you, my dear brother, for the confidence you repose in me, the affection you have for me, and the freedom with which you write to me. Assure yourself that I sincerely sympathize in the cutting events which you have lately experienced. Trying indeed! Your heart must bleed. Yet be not discouraged in your work. The more Satan opposes Christ, the more let us oppose him. He comes with great violence because his time is short. His kingdom is on the decline; his strong holds are besieged, and he knows they must soon be taken. Whilst it lasts, he is making desperate sallies on the armies of the Lamb. It is no great wonder that he fights and wounds a raw recruit now and then, who strays from the camp, and, thoughtless of the danger, keeps not close by the Captain's tent. I hope our glorious Leader will heal the wounded, and rescue the captive. He is sure to make reprisals. Christ will have ten to one. You will yet see his arm made bare.
---------------------------
^* Mr. Cave was a young man, licensed to the ministry by Mr. Pearce's church, and became the immediate successor of Mr. Carey, at Leicester. His life was highly honourable to the cause of Jesus Christ, though he was never very popular as a preacher. For many years before his death he taught a respectable school at Birmingham, and occasionally supplied the pulpits of his brethren. In the early part of the present year (1844) he was found dead in his bed, at the age of more than seventy years. -- B.

[p. 406]
He shall go forth like a man of war. The prisoners shall be redeemed, and the old tyrant shall be cast into the bottomless pit. Be of good cheer, my fellow soldier. The cause is not ours, but God’s. Let us endure hardness, and still fight the good fight of faith. At last we shall come off conquerors through him who hath loved us.

"I hope you have some causes for joy as well as grief. I trust though one, or two, or three fall, the tens and the twenties stand their ground. Oh do what you can to cheer them under the common trial. Let them not see a faint heart in you. Fight manfully still. Tell them to watch the more; to pray the harder; to walk the closer with God. So out of the eater shall come forth meat, and sweetness out of the strong."

To MR. BATES AND MRS. BARNES,
Who had been burnt out of their residence.

"The many expressions of Christian friendship which I received from you, and your affectionate families, during my late visit to London, will often excite grateful recollection in future, as they have almost daily since I parted from you; and though I do not write this avowedly as a mere letter of acknowledgment, yet I wish it to assure you that I am not forgetful of my friends, nor unthankful for their kindness. May all the favour you show to the servants of our common Lord, for his sake, be amply recompensed in present peace, and future felicity, when the promise of Him who cannot he shall be fulfilled, -- 'A cup of cold water given to a disciple, in the name of a disciple, shall not lose its reward.'

"But whilst you, my dear friends, live 'in hope of the glory' that remains 'to be revealed,' I am persuaded that you expect all as the fruit of sovereign mercy, which first forms us to the mind of Christ, then accepts, and then rewards. Truly, if sinners be rewarded, it must be 'of grace, and not of debt.' Yet it is a mercy of unspeakable magnitude that grace should establish a connexion between obedience and enjoyment, such a connexion as at once insures joy to the believer, and glory to Christ.

"Oh that our thoughts, our affections, our desires, may be much in heaven! Here, you have been taught, is 'no continuing city,' no certain place of abode; and though you have been taught it awfully in flames, yet if you learn it effectually, the terror of the means will be conquered by the excellency and glory of the consequences. Yes, my friends, 'in heaven we have a better and enduring substance:' the apartments there are more opacious; the society more sweet; the enjoyments more perfect; and all to last for ever. Well may Christians 'rejoice in hope of the glory of God!'

Nov. 17, 1797.

To MR. AND MRS. BOWYER, PALL MALL.

"Blessed be 'the Preserver of men' for all his goodness to dear Mr. and Mrs. B_____. With theirs shall my gratitude also ascend, whilst separated from their society; and with theirs shall it more warmly and permanently ascend, when we meet to form a part of the 'general assembly, and church of the first-born.'

"I do not return to London this autumn, but I mean to visit Portsmouth. I must be indebted to you for my directions. We shall be very happy to see you at Luke Street; but Wales I suppose will be the vortex that will swallow up much of your tithe. Well, so you are happy, we must be disinterested enough to be satisfied, although we be denied a personal participation.

"Let us not forget that we are Christians; and Christians profess a hope

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of a better country than Cambria contains. There we all belong. Already citizens by privilege, we shall be so by possession soon.

'Roll swifter round, ye wheels of time,
And bring the welcome day!'

“In hope of greeting you both in that good land, I remain most affectionately yours, -- S. P."

Nov. 17, 1797.

To DR. RYLAND.

"I feel much for you in relation both to the duties and trials of your present situation; at the same time I bless God who fixed you in it, because I am persuaded that it will be for his glory in the churches of Christ. And though none but those whose hands are full of religious concerns can guess at your difficulties, yet our blessed Redeemer knows them all. O my brother, you are travailing for him who redeemed you by his blood, who sympathizes with you, and who will graciously crown you at last. Small as my trials are, I would turn smith, and work at the anvil and the forge, rather than bear them for any other master than Christ. Yet, were they ten thousand times as many as they are, the thought of their being for Him, I trust, would sweeten them all.

"I have reason to be very thankful for much pleasure of late, both as a Christian and a minister. I have never felt so deeply my need of a Divine Redeemer, and seldom possessed such solid confidence that he is mine. I want more and more to become a little child, to dwindle into nothing in my own esteem, to renounce my own wisdom, power, and goodness, and simply look to and live upon JESUS for all. I am ashamed that I have so much pride, so much self-will. O my Saviour! make me 'meek and lowly in heart;' in this alone I find 'rest to my soul.'

"I could say much of what Immanuel has done for my soul; but I fear lest even this should savour of vanity. When shall I be like my Lord? Oh welcome death, when I have nothing more to do for Christ! To him, till then, may I live every day and every hour. Rather may I be annihilated than not live to him.

"You will rejoice with me to hear that we have a pleasing prospect as a church. Several very hopeful and some very valuable characters are about to join us. Lord, carry on thy work!"

"Portsmouth, Jan. 29, 1798,

To MRS. PEARCE,
On the dangerous illness of one of the children.

"Ignorant of the circumstances of our dear child, how shall I address myself to her dearer mother? With a fluttering heart, and a trembling hand, I, in this uncertainty, resume my pen. One consideration tranquillizes my mind, -- I and mine are in the hands of God; the wise, the good, the indulgent Parent of mankind! Whatever he does is best. I am prepared for all his will, and hope that I shall never have a feeling whose language is not, 'Thy will be done.'

"I am most kindly entertained here by Mr. and Mrs. Shoveller; and, except my dear Sarah's presence, feel myself at home. They have had greater trials than we can at present know. They have attended seven children to the gloomy tomb; they have been supported beneath their loss by Him who hath said, 'As thy days, so shall thy strength be.' Mrs. S. tells me she 'blessed God for all.' May my dear Sarah be enabled to do the same, whatever the result may prove. To-morrow I expect another letter

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from you; yet, lest you should too much feel my absence, I will not delay forwarding this a single post. Oh that it may prove in some degree a messenger of consolation.

"Yesterday I preached three times: God was very good. I received your letter before the first service: you may be assured that I bore you on my heart in the presence of my Lord and yours; nor shall I pray in vain: He will either restore the child, or support you under the loss of it. I dare not pray with importunity for any earthly good; for 'who knoweth what is good for man in this life, all the days of his vain life, which he spendeth as a shadow?' But strength to bear the loss of earthly comforts he has promised: for that I importune; and that, I doubt not, will be granted.

"In a house directly opposite to the window before which I now write, a wife, a mother, is just departed! Why am I not a bereaved husband? Why are not my children motherless? When we compare our condition with our wishes, we often complain; but if we compare it with that of many around us, our complaints will be exchanged for gratitude and praise."

"Feb. 14,1798.

To R. BOWYER, ESQ.

"Not a day has hurried by, since I parted with my dear friends in Pall Mall, but they have been in my affectionate remembrance; but, not being able to speak with any satisfaction respecting our dear child, I have withheld myself from imparting new anxieties to bosoms already alive to painful sensibility.

"At length, however, a gracious God puts it in my power to say that there is hope. After languishing between life and death for many days, she now seems to amend. We flatter ourselves that she has passed the crisis, and will yet be restored to our arms; but parental fears forbid too strong a confidence. It may be that our most merciful God saw that the shock of a sudden removal would be too strong for the tender feelings of a mother; and so by degrees prepares for the stroke which must fall at last. However, she is in the best hands, and we are, I hope, preparing for submission to whatever may be the blessed will of God.

"I was brought home in safety, and feel myself in much better health in consequence of my journey. Oh that it may be all consecrated to my Redeemer's praise!

"Happy should I be if I could oftener enjoy your friendly society; but we must wait for the full accomplishment of our social wishes till we come to that better world for which Divine grace is preparing us. -- There our best, our brightest hopes, and there our warmest affections must be found. Could we have all we want below, we should be reluctant to ascend, when Jesus calls us home. No, this is not our rest; it is polluted with sin, and dashed with sorrow: but though our pains in themselves are evil, yet our God turns the curse into a blessing, and makes all that we meet with accomplish our good.

"What better can I wish, my friends, than the humble place of Mary, or the happy rest of John! Faith can enjoy them both, till actually we fall at the Saviour's feet, and lean upon his bosom, when we see him as he is.

'Oh the delights, the heavenly joys,
The glories of the place,
Where Jesus sheds the brightest beams
Of his o'erflowing grace!'"
=================

Memoirs — Chapter IV

[From Joseph Belcher, editor, The Complete Works of Andrew Fuller, Volume III, 1845, rpt. 1988; pp. 392-408. Document provided by David Oldfield, Post Falls, ID. — Formatted by Jim Duvall]

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