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Quotes from "Pretty, Pretty Dresses"
Written by Paul Lieberstein
Directed by Dominic Polcino

HANK: Bill, these aren't for Lenore, are they?
BILL: No! ... Yes. But she'll come back and be happy I saved everything.
HANK: Bill, you've gotta face the facts, she's not -- (Bill sniffles) I mean, it's very unlikely -- (Bill sobs) Well, you never know; freakish things do happen.
BILL: Yes they do. Thank you.

BILL: All this talk about people makes me -- you know what it makes me think about? Breakups. You ever think about that dead boyfriend of yours?
LUANNE: Well, I --
BILL: I wonder if you'll ever meet someone again. I mean, most people only get one relationship in this life.

BILL: Mary, Margaret -- what's the name of that girl who dumped you, Bobby?
BOBBY: Marie.
BILL: Marie! Right. She was cute.

BILL: Remember Bob Cecil? You had a basketball game together. You liked him.
PEGGY: That was tenth grade, and -- no I didn't!
BILL: Yes, you did, but he didn't like you.

BILL: Iguanas are very trendy these days. You see them in cigar bars with movie stars.

PEGGY: Honey, that eye-joo-wanna is a cry for help. A hissing, disease-ridden cry for help!

BILL: I dreamt that Lenore came back and stole Lenore, and then Lenore drove off with Lenore and I ran down the street after them and I yelled "Lenore! Lenore!" And then my teeth fell out. Peggy, you were there.

PEGGY: You have twenty-four hours to get me out of that man's dreams.

PEGGY: You know who I feel sorriest for in all of this? Bill. We need to get him a psychiatrist.
HANK: He's just suicidal, Peggy, he's not crazy.

HANK: Come on, Bill, how about a beer?
BILL: Beer is a depressant, Hank.
HANK: Don't go blaming the beer.

BILL: I like the way silk feels on my skin.
HANK: Silk is for pantyhose, Bill.
BILL: They're all I've got. You've got a wife!

BILL: I have to tinkle.
DALE: Not on my watch.

DALE: I can't keep this up. It's not in my nature to care about others.

SHEILA: I find iguanas to be filthy, disgusting creatures.
BILL: Well, I think we all could use a bath.

HANK: You feel okay?
BILL: I don't feel anything.
HANK: Great! I knew you'd snap out of it!

HANK: Uh-uh, this is too much. In high school you blocked for me, but I did my job too. I ran through the hole, setting Arlen High School's single-season rushing record, as you recall. But here I am blocking for you, and you're not even trying! I don't even know what game you're playing -- some kind of crazy tennis!

DALE: Come on, you know you're Bill.
BILL: No, no, I don't know that. I'm Lenore.
DALE: Well, if you're Lenore, then where's Bill?
BILL: Uh, Bill's in the house. Want me to go get him?
DALE: I'm skeptical that you could, yet intrigued that you may.

PEGGY: Honey, you're peeling in anger. You should be able to get more than one french-fry out of a whole Idaho.

LUANNE: I don't know anything about psychology, but it sounds to me like Mr. Dauterive needs closure. He needs to realize that Lenore's never coming back, and just move on with his life. It's the same thing Buckley's Angel told me.
PEGGY: Well, Buckley's Angel is the only one making sense. Oh! How about I invite the real Lenore to the party and settle this thing once and for all?
LUANNE: Oh, I hope it works, but if they show up in the same dress, it'll be a disaster.

MR. STRICKLAND: Listen, Hank, we got all our clients here -- big fish, little fish -- so if you see some little fish cornering me, it's your job to pull me out.
HANK: We should treat all our clients like big fish, Mr. Strickland.
MR. STRICKLAND: Yeah, good, good, save that for the little fish.

BILL: I want to stay and mingle. Lenore, who is me, sure does love a party. Party party!

HANK: Bill, I am Lenore and I don't love you.
BILL: No, Hank! I'm Lenore!
HANK: I've left you forever because you're lazy and no good.
BILL: Lenore!
HANK: We fight so loud, all the neighbors can hear. We fight during the day, we fight during the night.
BILL: Lenore, we can work stuff out! I'm a good husband!
HANK: Bill, if I wanted to work things out, I would have called. I don't love you any more, that's it. I don't love you.
BILL: That's all? That's why you left, as simple as that? You didn't even have the courtesy to send me a Dear John letter? Well, I tell you what, I consider that rude! And I tell you something else, I am worth a Dear John letter, and there are a lot of women who would agree with me! So you know what? You go ahead, get out! You don't deserve William Fontaine De La Teur Dauterive!

BILL: I hit rock bottom there, didn't I?
HANK: And hard.
BILL: Then it's all uphill from here.
HANK: Yep. The wind's at your back, buddy. Merry Christmas.

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