The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Revenge of the Lutefisk"
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Quotes from "Revenge of the Lutefisk"
Written by Jonathan Aibel & Glenn Berger
Directed by Jack Dyer
REVEREND THOMASON: And now, friends, I'm sad to say I've decided to retire from Arlen First Methodist.
PEGGY (to Hank): Retire? The man works half a day a week!
REVEREND THOMASON: After much reflection and soul-searching, I've decided that the future of God is on the internet. Cyberrev.com will spread the gospel to every online soul in the world, unless you have AOL.
DALE: So it's up and running. The secret lab in the basement of the Harvard Divinity School where they ordain women surgically.
HANK: I told you to stop sending my dad "The Gribble Report."
DALE: You tell me a lot of things, Hank. Most of which I publish.
COTTON: Leave it to a woman to turn God's house into a love shack!
REVEREND STROUP: I just spoke to the arson investigator. His investigation points to arson!
PEGGY: Our dear, sweet, sensitive little boy. He feels everything so deeply, like a poet. A cowboy poet.
REVEREND STROUP: Protestant and Catholic, Jew and Buddhist, man and woman, we are all brought together today by hate.
LUANNE: Oh, I hate hate!
COTTON: It's only a matter of time before they accuse me of church-burnery.
DALE: Colonel, I would be honored if you used my phone to claim responsibility.
COTTON: Look for the man with the terrible smell! He's the one you want! You hear me? The man with the terrible smell!
PEGGY: I have always said that that man is capable of anything. Before, people used to look away or pretend not to hear me. But now they will all have to nod in agreement, yes they will.
DIDI: Cotton burned down a church. Now our baby will grow up without a father. Not your'n and my baby -- Cotton's and my baby.
BOBBY: I feel so bad! It was an accident! I know it was an accident! Why can't they just leave him alone and forget about it?
DIDI: This baby was an accident too, but if I forgot about it, it would never get born. I think you have to be responsible for your accidents. Cotton thinks so too. At least, he stopped saying he didn't.
BOBBY: Really?
DIDI: He says if the baby turns out as good as you, Bobby, that he will not abandon it.
COTTON: If I can take a bullet for my grandson, I'll do it. But not in the face -- that's how I make my livin's.
BOBBY: Mom, as long as we're confessing: remember when Grandpa broke the arm of your Boggle trophy 'cause he was playing soccer in the house?
PEGGY: I will never forgive him for that.
BOBBY: It was me.
PEGGY: I forgive you.