The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Three Days of the Kahndo"
Click here to return to the Main Quotes Page
Quotes from "Three Days of the Kahndo"
Written by John Altschuler & Dave Krinsky
Directed by Lauren MacMullan
KAHN (singing): Oh, Mickey, you so fine, you so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey!
HANK: Well, sure, there are some pros: it's a good deal, and I guess there's nothing tying us to the house now that we've got automatic sprinklers. But then there are the cons. The biggest one being, well, Kahn.
PEGGY: Hank, the condo is two stories and very mitad.
LUANNE: I love Mexico. They fast-track new makeups straight to the consumer. Here the FDA tests and tests for years -- it's like they don't care how we look.
BOOMHAUER: I tell you what, man, 'bout Mexico, man, you go down there and you load up on them dang ol' Chiclets, man, go down to wheel and deal with them dang ol' guys talkin' 'bout un camino dos mujeres.
BILL: I think it's nice that you're going away, Hank. You need a good vacation with your new best friend Kahn, who you love so much.
HANK: Yes, Bill, I love Kahn. Maybe if this trip works out, I'll marry him and live in Mexico forever. Is that what you want to hear?
BILL: No.
BOBBY: Why is there such a big fence, Dad?
HANK: Well, millions of people come to America in search of a better life, and we've decided we don't need that many.
BOBBY: Did the Souphanousinphones come through the fence?
HANK: No, Bobby, Kahn applied the legal way. Sometimes the system fails us.
PEGGY: Make sure to apply plenty of sunscreen, honey. We are much closer to the sun here than in Texas.
KAHN (to the Mariachis): What? Oh, no! You think I'm a sucker? You sing for me? I sing for you! (sings) That's what I like about you... you really know how to dance... yeah!!!
CONNIE: How about that trash can there? Let's blow that up.
BOBBY: If this were a cherry bomb, I'd say yes. But this is La Bomba.
KAHN: She blinded me with science... doo, doo, doo! She blinded me... WITH SCIENCE!
HANK: Pretty good job, Kahn. I've never heard that song with only one note before.
KAHN: Yeah, it all about rhythm.
PEGGY: Honey, do you think I'm naive?
BOBBY (after a beat): No.
PEGGY: Am I just a fool who believes whatever I am told?
BOBBY: I'm sorry.
LUANNE: They had to kill ten turtles to fill one little jar. Neat!
BOBBY (putting on Luanne's makeup): This tastes like turtles.
HANK: What if they find Kahn?
DALE: If I know my Mexican legal system, which I do, we'll get about fifteen years with a starvation diet of moldy bread and warm water.
HANK: Distilled water?
DALE: Oh, no. And of course there is a total lack of toilet paper and privacy.
HANK: Oh, God, I can't go while people watch!
HANK: America is my country and I love her. I wouldn't enter her in any way that's unnatural.
KAHN: Look how easy it is to get into this country. I can't believe I had to learn the Bill of Rights. When am I gonna use that?
DALE: You'd be surprised, Kahn. I take the fifth on a daily basis.
KAHN: You know what's funny? This time I on Texas soil first. I smuggle him in.
HANK: Very funny, Kahn.
KAHN: Hey, I live next door to alien now. My property worth nothing.
HANK: Ha ha.
KAHN: Ah, you got in the baby way. I had to memorize all the presidents. You couldn't do it. That stretch between Polk and Buchanan wipe you out. You ever heard of Garfield? He more than a cartoon cat, you know. He part of history of my country.