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Quotes from "Bobby Goes Nuts"
Written by Norm Hiscock
Directed by Tricia Garcia

KAHN: Lights out at 9:30. After that, no laughing. No singing.
MINH: No flashlights. No ghost stories.
KAHN: No nothing except sleep!

SUSAN: I'd leave, but I already paid your dad for the continental breakfast.

KAHN: This is a sleepover, not a play-music-loud-all-night-over!

KAHN: Bobby Hill, out the window! Chane, you and your friends may use the door.

BOBBY: So taking those boxing lessons kept the bullies from picking on you?
HANK: Heh, heh, heh -- bullies? Picking on me? Heh, heh, heh -- uh, yeah, sure, why not?

INSTRUCTOR: Every one of you in this class is heavily armed right now. That's right: your keychains, your fists, that huge engagement ring... (to Bobby) Are you sure you're in the right class? This is women's self-defense.
BOBBY: Please, ma'am, all the other courses were full.
INSTRUCTOR: I'm sorry, it's for women only. We're trying to maintain a certain comfort level here.
BOBBY: But I hate men as much as you.
INSTRUCTOR: I don't hate men, I just hate being a victim.
BOBBY: I hate being a victim too! Look, I was at a girls slumber party last night when three men pushed me to the ground and made me eat dirt.
(Gasps from the other students)
INSTRUCTOR: Okay, you can stay. Now grab a whistle and prepare to be empowered! Most women who are attacked are subdued by verbal threats. Today we're going to get used to hearing these threats, keeping our cool, and practicing some responses of our own to the most vulnerable areas of a man's anatomy.
ASSISTANT: Shut up and give me your purse!
INSTRUCTOR: I don't know you! That's my purse! (kick!) Okay, I want everyone to try that. (to Bobby) You first. See? I don't hate men.
ASSISTANT: Give me your purse!
BOBBY: That's... my purse?
INSTRUCTOR: Don't be afraid to shout it! That's my purse! Try again.
BOBBY: That's my purse! I don't know you!

BOBBY: Mom! Dad! Chane Wasonasong was waiting for me after school.
PEGGY: Did you remember to tell him that inside every bully there's a coward?

HANK: Well, all right, son! You know, that Chane Wasonasong must know all kinds of Oriental martial arts, and you beat him with good old American YMCA know-how.

JOSEPH: My dad says that whenever you're in a jail-type situation, the best way to survive is to take out the biggest guy there. That way you establish who's boss right from the get-go. Or you can hang yourself with your pants. He says that's another way to go.

BOBBY: I didn't go looking for trouble. Trouble came a-knockin' and Bobby Hill's foot answered the door.

CLARK: What are you gonna do? Are you gonna kick me in the nads?
BOBBY: Am I gonna do it? Yes. When am I gonna do it? Don't know. Could be tomorrow -- now! (kick!) One thing you'll find out about me, Clark, is that I'm not a very patient person.

PEGGY: What did I do? It was your idea to send him to the "Y" in the first place, so if anything, I could point the finger at you! But I won't. But I could.

HANK: This, Bobby, is the belt-line. You never, ever hit below that. Always above. Never below. Cassius Clay never hit below the belt.
BOBBY: But, Dad, if I'm in a fight with someone who wants me to literally eat dirt, you're telling me I shouldn't do the one thing that's gonna save me.
HANK: You learned the move in a women's self-defense class. You are not a woman.
BOBBY: But it works!

HANK (practicing boxing with Bobby): You leave your face open, you're gonna get popped. See? Pop! Pop! Pop!
(Bobby kicks Hank in the groin)
BOBBY: You left yourself open, Dad. Pop pop!

PEGGY: What about... the other one?
MEDIC: We can't find it. But there's no cause for alarm. It'll probably turn up once the swelling goes down.

BILL: I wish I had a son to kick me in the nuts.
(Dale kicks Bill in the nuts)
DALE: Be careful what you wish for.

CONNIE: You kicked your father? We all have those feelings, Bobby, but you never act on them!

KAHN: I heard what you did to Chane Wasonasong. Unforgivable! But then I heard what you did to your father. Very funny. So I'm conflicted.

PEGGY: That's right, Bobby, I believe you will find that I have no testicles. Where's your secret weapon now?
KAHN: She bluffing! Finish her!

BOBBY: What are you so proud about? You had to get Mom to fight your battle for you. That's worse than me kicking below the belt.
HANK: Yeah, it's not so fun when someone else doesn't fight fair, is it? Just remember, I can get her to do that any time I want.

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