The King of the Hill Quotes Page: "Old Glory"
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Quotes from "Old Glory"
Written by Norm Hiscock
Directed by Gary McCarver
PEGGY: Donovan? She has been out of the game for three years, getting her Master's degree or something. Why would they pick her over me?
BOBBY: Maybe it's alphabetical.
PEGGY: No. That was struck down in Zagarello v. State of Texas.
BILL: Permission to give this flag a loving home, sir? I will raise her every morning at dawn. I will lower her every night before dusk. I will store her --
LIEUTENANT: Do you have a 90-foot pole?
BILL: I've got a 40-foot pole, sir. (beat) I'll go to Home Depot, sir.
HANK: An F in English? Bobby, you speak English!
(Bobby is looking for an essay topic when Bill's flag brushes against the window)
BOBBY: Wind. No! Flag.
BOBBY: I finally picked my essay topic: "Why Bobby Hill Loves America."
HANK: I'd like to see your teacher give an F to the U.S. of A.
PEGGY: Hank, that woman could fail ice cubes to the Eskimos.
PEGGY: If you take the "U" out of "U.S.A.," what do you get? You get "S.A." An "S.A." that will explain to "U" why Bobby Hill loves America!
MRS. DONOVAN: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got to go teach a class. And you?
PEGGY: I could stay and chat.
BOBBY: I find my best ideas come to me while I am in the tub, sipping on a cup of cocoa.
PEGGY: Well, that's very interesting, because when I am stuck on a musings column, I like to find someone helpful to bounce ideas off of...
BOBBY: That's not really my style. What works for me, see, is the cocoa.
MRS. DONOVAN: That's because you're a writer, Bobby. Your mother's just a muser. It looks like the torch has been passed, and it has finally been lit.
(Peggy's Musings)
- "Credit where credit is due" is not just a phrase for bankers and lawyers.
- My husband's affair with beer, and why I'm not jealous.
- If you like knitting, you'll love this yarn.
- When it comes to tea cozies, it's either crochet or the highway.
- Napkin rings, those useful things.
- Autumn: love it or leaf it.
- The sauce thickens.
LUANNE: Let's be honest. When was the last time you got an A?
PEGGY: May 24, 1974.
BOBBY: I find that adverbs are overrated and that adjectives are your go-to guys.
PRINCIPAL MOSS: We got a pep rally coming up, and I want you to read that essay of yours to the children.
BOBBY: All right, I'll do it -- for the children.
PEGGY: You know, he has never even thanked me, not once. And would it kill him to tell people "My mom helped me with that line" or "My mom wrote that essay, I had nothing to do with it?"
PEGGY: What did they teach you in that graduate school?
MRS. DONOVAN: How to survive.
BOBBY: I guess deep down inside, part of me always knew I didn't deserve that A.
PEGGY: Those students don't need an apology, they need something to believe in. And that's what we'll give them. Boy loves his country. Mother loves her son. It's as American as apple pie. And if Donovan says boo, they'll hang her for treason.
BOBBY: Yeah! I love apple pie!
PEGGY: That flag got us into this mess, and that flag will get us out. At tomorrow's assembly, we will give those saps a good old-fashioned star-spangled snow job.
PEGGY: And remember, we are stealing this flag, we are not disgracing it.
BILL: What kind of animal would do something like this? A bear!
BOBBY: What has this school taught us about the flag? I say the Pledge of Allegiance every day, but I don't know what it means. I hear "The Star-Spangled Banner" before very football game, but by "Oh say can you see," I'm looking for the guy with the peanuts. But today, I watched a grown man cry while his flag burned. And when I saw how much it meant to him, I realized how much it should have meant to me. So tomorrow, if you're sitting near me in detention, and one of your spitballs comes anywhere near that flag, you better watch your back. Tom Landry rules!